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EA's Newest Partnership Could Save Lives


Jared

EA hasn't been the most well-liked company in recent years as evidenced by their Golden Poo award wins for worst company in America two years in a row. A third win just wasn't in the cards for them this year, but it can be argued that the only reason they lost was because of the poll's new voting system. In light of recent events however, I think they should be on the list of most improved companies this year for their work in identifying health problems in gamers across the nation.

 

It might sound crazy, but EA has teamed up with a company known as Living Essentials to advertise their new Xbox One game Titanfall while also opening the eyes of gamers who might not be aware they have a serious health problem that makes them in need of some sort of medical intervention. The plan they've put into action is simple while genius at the same time.

 

They're going to sell energy drinks to gamers.

 


 

Now I've never taken one of these 5-hour Energy drinks or any sort of product that boasts it's ability to boost your energy throughout the day, but I know plenty of people who have. They say it works for them and they will routinely take a shot of the product before an abnormally rough day at their job. A job is a daily event where you do work that can be stressful or taxing on your body for upwards of eight hours or more at a time. This is where the 5-hour Energy product does it's supposed magic as intended.

 

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Leaving CD's out of their cases? Disgusting.

 

The act of playing a game is widely regarded as a leisure activity that people do to unwind and escape the troubles of their life and job so they can just relax. This is where EA's newest partnership comes into play. Their newly endorsed product asks the tough question that everyone else is too afraid to ask - "Have you ever felt tired and worn out by the act of playing a video game?"

 

The hope with this new ad campaign is that when a gamer sees the product they'll think one of two things, such as, "Playing games doesn't tire me out; I don't need this," and the much less hoped for but entirely expected, "My God, why is this in my shopping cart?" Am I really so out of shape that I need to drink special formulas to play games so I don't pass out from the physical stress? I need help."

 


 

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Much like the poison dart frog, the package's design just screams danger.

 

In the very rare event that a person actually goes out and buys a Titanfall Five Hour Energy for the express purpose of playing games longer, EA and Living Essentials included a fail-safe in the product's packaging. Doing away with the energy drink's usual bright and flashy design is a new eye catching color scheme with the words "TITANFALL" in large bold letters across the front.

 

While the packaging does have the TITANFALL name emblazoned on the front of the drink, there is little else to imply that it has anything to do with video games. This has been done purposely in an effort to get people to ask their ailing loved one as to what it all means. Someone who is beyond the point of understanding that they're horrifically out of shape will gladly explain what they're using it for and their loved ones will then be able to seek help for them. The only downsides I can find in all of this is that the ad campaign will only be active for a limited time and is currently found exclusively in Walmarts around the country. And maybe all of that other stuff about marketing energy drinks to people who clearly don't need it so they can complete tasks that don't require energy.

 

*To all of the EA and Living Essentials executives undoubtedly reading this right now, I'd just like to point out that I'm not claiming the Five Hour energy shots are doing damage to people as I have no proof of that nor do I care to investigate it. The joke is that advertising energy shots to people that don't need it is evidence that the people buying it are so out of shape that they can't even stay awake to play games and are terribly unhealthy human beings. Sorry for losing the Golden Poo, but there's always next year! And thanks for reading.

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