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Review: Goat Simulator


Harrison Lee

Developer: Coffee Stain

Publisher: Coffee Stain

Platform: PC

Release Date: April 1, 2014

Rating: N/A (T+ suggested)

 

 

You've probably head the stories about it. You've even heard the legends and the myths. Since time immemorial (or whenever the YouTube videos surfaced), the world has been set ablaze with frenzy for Goat Simulator. What began as some sort of UE3 physics tech demo has been crafted into a perverse playground of pandemonium. Hoof firmly planted in cheek, Goat Simulator asks one question: Are you goat enough?

 

Whatever you've heard about Goat Simulator, it's all true. There are scores of wacky secrets and hidden goats to uncover by rampaging around and blowing things up. For a game that's $10 and couldn't be more of a $10 game, there's a surprising amount of Easter eggs scattered around for you to unlock. My favorite is the Demon Goat after you've done a certain activity at a certain place. To tell you would spoil the hilarity but believe me, it's amazing. Especially when you get the Demon Goat and start hurtling through the air like a haywire missile.

 

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Wrecking stuff to earn combos and massive points is all there really is (and needs to be) to Goat Simulator. There are some collectible statues and cool locations on the game's one map but once you finish finding everything, you've seen just about all the game has to offer. Amazingly, a free map and new goats are in the works so don't cancel your imminent Steam order just yet. At $10, you're already getting a ridiculously comedic romp that's perfect for showing off to your friends. Oh, and local multiplayer is in the works. Just try and imagine that.

 

Obviously this game is insanely buggy. While most other titles would be panned for glitches, Goat Simulator revels in them. They produce the weirdest and most amusing moments, like falling through the ground for no reason. The game also isn't a looker but I doubt you're playing this for fancy next-gen graphics. You're here for the comedy, and boy does it deliver.

 

Goat Simulator revels in its own stupidity. If you enjoy slapstick comedy and absurdity to the extreme, this is absolutely a must-own. It's so terribly awful and hilarious that it's practically begging to be played through. The low price and upcoming content packs mean you really have no excuse not to goat this a try. It'll crash (for which there's an achievement) and there's virtually no depth to it, but Goat Simulator succeeds at what it set out to do. Plus, trading cards. What's not to like?

 

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I'd tell you more about the game but you need to experience it for yourself. Words don't do the insanity justice. If you've ever hated or feared goats, this ain't the game for you. Otherwise, click that buy button and prepare yourself for an experience unlike any other goat.

 


Pros:

 

+ You play as a goat

+ It's $10

+ Free content updates

+ It's buggy

 

Cons:

 

- It's buggy

 


Now, perhaps you've scrolled down to find some sort of score on this here review. Since Goat Simulator is less a game and more an idiotic sandbox of bedevilment that I can't actually assign a score to, I'll let my words of wisdom above show you the way. The description above should help you to decide whether or not Goat Simulator is for you. If it's not sufficient, feel free to throw angry comments and/or goats at me.

 

Goat Simulator is as stupid as it looks, but that's why it's brilliant.

Experience it for yourself and let me know what you think!

 

Disclosure: This game was reviewed using a digital copy that was purchased with the reviewer's own funds.

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