Games I've played lately have been overall pretty good. Nothing really of worthy of causing me to fly off the handle. Here I was worried that I had become complacent, maybe the angry leprechaun was finally at ease. No longer picking fights with dogs in those illegal offshore leprechaun/dog boxing matches. Able to finally kick back, sit down while enjoying a pint and watching those kids trying to get at me lucky charms. Then hold the phone, leave it to the reboot of Devil May Cry to stick a giant needle right into my veins and pump pure Irish whiskey into them.
I know what you're thinking, "Here's another rant about the change in the appearance of Dante, Blahdy Blahdy Blahdy Blah..." Well how about this, how about you sit your pretty little rear down, shut your mouth and quit assuming things. Can't a man express his opinion without your little preconceptions skewing what you're about the read? That said, while I wasn't the biggest fan of what I have lovingly dubbed the "******-Hawk", I really couldn't care less about his appearance. And from a gameplay perspective, I thought that the game was a lot of fun to play. Hell, it's the only reason I was actually able to play it. The story itself wasn't even that bad, a touch uninspired but entertaining enough. However, there were a couple choices with the game that I just could not get on board with
-.- ...I've got nothing
Let's start with Dante, who in this game can only really be described a King ****** (I'm sure there a many other synonyms here that I could use, but I'm keeping it as clean as possible and even that get's it censored.) I have no idea what the hell the writers were thinking when they were re-imagining his character. The original Dante was legitimately a cool character, snarky at times but overall carried himself with style. However, Ninja Theory thinks it makes new Dante edgey to just spew profanity left and right and carry himself like an entitled brat. There's one scene between him and Poison (A "succubus") where the dialogue pretty much consists of "F*** You, No F*** You, No F*** You...."; you get the point. So apparently what Ninja Theory thinks is that we want Dante's demeanor to consist of that of a 14 year old boy when his Mom's back is turned. I just couldn't believe how they ruined his character as a whole, forget about his appearance entirely. They could have left him looking exactly the same, and his character still would have been ruined. Also, apparently your hair turns white if you embrace your demon side, yep this makes sense.
My Thoughts Exactly
Backtracking a touch to the "succubus" I spoke of earlier... I really sat here and struggled for exactly how to begin this portion. I leave "succubus" in quotations for apparently Ninja Theory has no idea what a succubus is or does. For the less enlightened on the subject, a succubus is typically a demon that poses as an attractive woman and sucks the life out of a man (the opposite of that being an incubus, but I digress). According to Ninja Theory, a succubus, is still a female demon, but one that is like a giant armored slug beast with arms who poops magical soda slime that makes humans complacent drones. No this is seriously what happens in the game. Look, while it is disgusting, I really have no problems with a Giant Armored Slug Beast with Legs that poops magical soda slime for human consumption, but calling it a succubus is just stupid. Make up a freaking name for the demon, call it a Crap-Beast for all I care. Calling it a succubus is pretty much just calling the people who play your game stupid or just lazy. Seeing as how Dante's character is just an uninspired ****** who drops the F-Bomb like it's the word "the", I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and just go with lazy.
I'm all for reboots, unlike many other people. I think that it can breathe new life into a franchise when done right. But it's gotta be done right. When you're dealing with characters that people know and love, you have to take that same love and put it back into re-imagining those characters. The groundwork has basically already been done for you! Step up, otherwise you end up causing people to want a reboot from what you just did to the game.