I don't often recommend instant, full-price purchases before I preview or review something so when I do, you know it has to be special. I'm about to do exactly that, the rare thing I seldom do. You should be playing Drunken Robot Pornography. Why? Because of the name. I'm not kidding, play this game. Have some faith in my recommendation!
Okay, FINE, I'll tell you why you should really be playing a game called Drunken Robot Pornography (hereafter referred to as DRP).
If there's anything to classify DRP as, it's a first-person bullet hell shooter. As you might have guessed, that already makes it pretty unique. I can't rightly point out many other games that fall under this tiny, niche subcategory. It's an adjustment for sure, but once you settle into the groovy rhythm that developer Dejobaan Games has created, you'll find there's a lot to love in DRP. It's quirky, humorous and chock full of the sort of addicting action shooters have sorely lacked for the past 5 years.
The premise is straight up bizarre; your robot bartender has burned down your bar after having been granted sentience. The bartender (Tim was his name) decides to steal the exotic robo dancers and attack Boston with giant, 30-foot tall Titans. These mechanized warriors are massive beasts fitted with more missiles, lasers, guns, shields and vulnerable appendages than you can count. Since everything is your fault, you have to go toe to toe with the Titans, wielding naught but a gimpy little laser rifle. Luckily for you, there are oodles of power-ups and martinis to collect to help you rack up the score and robotic body count.
Gameplay is as straightforward as it gets. Use the WASD keys to walk, Space to jetpack around and the mouse to perforate enemies. Kill as many things as possible and never stop shooting because if you do, you'll probably die. DRP is here to kick your teeth in, even if you're a veteran FPS player. Hundreds, and I mean hundreds, of robots will swarm you in seconds to main and dismember you. You can never let off the trigger finger as enemies will continuously spawn until you kill the boss Titan, a task seldom made easy with so many drones to wipe out.
Taking down a Titan requires you to first destroy the extremities. Once you've nipped them off, you must destroy the core. Basically, spray all of the bullets in the Titan's general direction and you'll probably destroy it. Just make sure you do all of this before the timer ends. Want to top the leaderboards DRP has? Try and kill as many robots as possible and collect all of the martinis. It sounds simple but is absolute chaos in practice. Good chaos, mind you.
Right now DRP is in alpha, accessible through Steam's Early Access option for $10. It's not complete but what is on offer is quite impresssive. I seriously haven't had this much idiotic, frantic fun in quite a while. And, despite the name, the game is suitable for all ages. It's incredibly fun and requires twitch-precision. Coupled with a low price point and the ability to make your own Titans, Drunken Robot Pronography is something you need to experience. DRP is already addicting, and if Dejobaan adds multiplayer......just imagine the insanity!
So yeah, that's why you should play a game with the name Drunken Robot Pornography. Did I sell you on it or are you still cautious?